March 27, 2003
Well, here we go...
The first entry of this blog. First off, I hate the default index template. The format sucks. I want a banner across the top, more white space around the title of the blog and at least a column of links, etc. on the left. Maybe another on the right. And put the calendar on the right as well.
Of course, to do all of this I'll either have to track down some (fairly simple!) sample templates, or learn how to do it myself. And there doesn't seem to be any such thing as "simple" Movable Type templates. Feh. I don't want tons of graphics, backgrounds, pastels and whatnot, I just want a clean, clear page with enough whitespace that entries are readable and the page doesn't seem cluttered. Apparently this is too much to ask.
This is a start, anyway.
Style sheets
At least I know how to use style sheets. Colors are now closer to what I want, but layout is all fucked up.
Oh, well, more tomorrow...
XHTML
I've got a lot to learn about XHTML. Not that I really wanted to, I've got more than enough to do already.
But, how the HELL does this thing place the different pieces? I see nothing at all about position...
Argh.
Enough for one night. Tomorrow . . .
March 28, 2003
Another day, another...
Business as usual this morning on the Iraq invasion and destruction-of-civil-rights fronts. Fortunately, there seems to be more and more opposition to the so-called "USA PATRIOT" Act. (Maybe I should agitate for the Redondo Beach city council to join the other cities in declaring opposition to it? It's pretty liberal here with a lot of intelligent people, not a bad place to try that.)
On the agenda: More work on the format of this site (learning XHTML, argh!), continue trying to figure out the right way to build a distribution amplifier for my frequency standard out of non-obsolete parts, ship out some Ebay purchases. But first, coffee...
Damned fools.
The United Way will never get another dime from me: Read this story
Biased news reporting
Courtesy CNN Online: 'Dirty bomb' suspect awaits attorney visits. The whole article is slanted to make the reader assume that this guy is guilty. It's like McCarthyism all over again. Guilt by accusation.
Jose Padilla has been held without trial, without charge, without access to an attorney, for over ten months. Can you say "violation of constitutional rights?" Padilla is an American citizen. No matter what he might be suspected of, he is at least supposed to be "innocent until proven guilty." But he is being held on the say-so of the Administration, which has termed him an "enemy combatant."
This is why I support impeachment of the President, Vice President, Secretary of Defense and the Attorney General. You should, too.
Well, cool.
It looks like I'm beginning to get it. The layout isn't perfect, but it's certainly headed in the right direction! Style sheets are amazing things.
The music doesn't hurt, either: SPF1000, Descention (Love is Dead). Find them on MP3.com.
Why we invaded Iraq.
As if we didn't already know. CJ Silverio points out in her weblog, a story about the Chickenhawk Richard Perle in the New York Times. Perle stands to make a bundle from this. As if he needed any more.
Then there's the push to install CDMA cell phone service in postwar Iraq. The most common scheme outside the US is GSM.
Why is the US fighting this war? Money. Oil. Power. And the Administration is lying about it, with every word they utter.
And, finally, the horror of this war. Basra is in "Coalition" hands? I Don't Think So.
I am speechless with rage.
So who am I?
My name is Frank Mayhar. I'm a 43-year-old software engineer who recently was laid off by Wind River (you bastards!) and who is looking for work. I'm very happily married to a beautiful Chinese woman from HangZhou, China.
I'm smarter than the average United States President, apparently, and I don't buy the bullshit that the Bush administration is shoveling. I'm very strongly opposed to the war in Iraq and I'm even more strongly opposed to the erosion of our civil rights since 9/11/2001. I consider the so-called "USA PATRIOT" Act one of the worst, most unconstitutional pieces of legislation ever passed by a legislature in the United States. I'm also pretty angry about all of this, since it seems that the overwhelming majority of US citizens do buy the bullshit I mentioned.
It's pretty funny how quiet those who challenge me become after a couple of rounds of correspondence. It just shows, I guess, that the truth is the truth, and that wanting to believe something doesn't make it so.
Wanting to believe that Saddam Hussein had anything at all to do with 9/11 doesn't mean that he did. Even the liar in the White House can't bring himself to seriously assert that, although he has come quite close.
But enough about him, back to me. I have no particular faith, except faith in myself and my capability. I see no evidence of the supernatural and feel no need to invoke silly supernatural explanations of things that are obviously completely natural. I have become more and more convinced that we are, in fact, these soggy masses of tissue we carry around inside our skulls. It appears that all aspects of human emotion, thought and behavior can be explained by biological mechanisms. This isn't exactly a comforting thought, it would be nice to believe that when I die I don't just stop, but the universe isn't here to comfort me. It is as it is, and all I can do is accept it.
Speaking of acceptance, I've also had to accept that I will probably be on medication for clinical depression for the rest of my life. While this, too, isn't particularly comforting, the horror I experienced before I began the medication and psychotherapy is much, much less comforting. I was on a short road to suicide at the end of 1998 and my life was intolerable, unlivable. I'm still around because a clinical psychologist named David Van Zak saw and understood the truths that I was not at the time able to tell him. He suggested medication and he has continued to help me improve ever since.
I'm much better now.
A lot of the reason for my depression lies in my family history. I am certain that my father had clinical depression. He had been badly abused as a child, as well, then spent too much time in the military. He was not a father in any sense but the strict biological one. While he wasn't physically abusive (much), he was certainly emotionally abusive. As a child, I retreated into a state of emotional numbness and nonexistence. The really sad part is that while I could not avoid the biological propensity for depression, it didn't have to be expressed. As it was, though, my young brain was molded by those horrific experiences, leaving me in the grip of a disease I wouldn't wish on anyone.
My strength in those childhood experiences, and in the constant horror that was my adult life until a few years ago, was that I was determined. I was going to get through it no matter what. I really don't know where that strength came from, but it has served me well. Although recovery is often exceedingly difficult, I'm still making it. And now I have much too much to live for to slack off for an instant.
Why did I start this blog? Mostly so that I can write about what's going on with me. I've thought about it for a long time and finally decided that if I can do it without editing, without refinement or polishing, I will actually be able to do it. I am doing this for me, not for anyone else and certainly for the anonymous masses that might be reading these words.
Of course, it would be nice if someone got something good out of what I write here. I think that my experience is in some ways unique and maybe I can share that experience a little. And maybe someone will get some glimmer of understanding out of what I write here.
But really this is for me, not for you. I plan to let this thing absorb some of the internal pressure I feel. Particularly my anger and frustration at the current political situation. I also want to write about my depression from time to time, to get some of this stuff down in words.
If you're reading this, well, as I wrote in my description of this thing, I'm sure that there's some kind of treatment that might help with that.
March 29, 2003
Tough shit!
Bush annoyed by US media war coverage.
I guess Mr. President still wants to be Dictator instead of President.
Welcome to the New America.
How do they do it?
All these bloggers update their blogs many times a day, sometimes writing massive entries. How? I've got things to do, I can't possibly spend all of my time sitting here writing this stuff.
Amazing.
Feh. Again with the religion crapola.
From Newsday: Newsday.com - House Approves National Day of Prayer.
Let's see, wasn't there some small thing in a piece of old paper somewhere about the separation of Church and State? A pretty important piece of old paper? Since when is it Congress' right to impose a "day of prayer." Seems to me like those who want to, can, and those of us who see no particular use in it can not. But no, these idiots want to impose it on all of us.
Argh.
Supporting the troops.
So Mr. Bush loves the folks in uniform when they're out in the field, but when they come home he could care less? Seems he's cutting veteran's benefits, among many other things: War Distracts from Bush's Budget Cuts
Man, it just gets better and better.
Time to write my Senators and Representative. Again.
March 30, 2003
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...
The Observer | Business | US arms trader to run Iraq
Well, okay, I knew it could get worse. But that doesn't make this any less sickening. Who will win from this conflict? Bush and his cronies, the Rich Republicans. Who will lose? Everyone else.
Everyone else.
A different perspective...
Use the appropriate volume of salt:
ArabNews: Exclusive: ‘Terrified of Saddam Hussein’
It is, at least, a different view of the war. Maybe when viewed relative to the rest of the reporting, it can help pull out a bit of truth from the overwhelming mass of propaganda we're being fed. You decide.
Saddam == Stalin?
Daniel W. Drezner has a pretty good analysis of postwar Iraq as compared to post-Communist Russia. Basically, while Hussein strives to emulate Stalin, he isn't Stalin.
Exactly the opposite of what we need.
According to this article, we stand a good chance of having the media further deregulated, which will result in even more stations owned by still fewer large companies. Michael Powell, chairman of the FCC, is all for it. He's either an idiot or is in bed with the people who stand to profit by this.
What we need are more companies not fewer, more competition not less, decisions made based on newsworthiness and not on whether something might offend advertisers.
Sigh.
March 31, 2003
I guess I missed a good 'un.
By Michael Moore: I'd Like to Thank the Vatican....
I'm not convinced that everything he says is the strict truth, but a lot of it certainly makes sense.
A different perspective, part 2.
The next report from Essam Al-Ghalib, a Saudi reporter in Iraq: ArabNews: Exclusive: ‘If They Stop Now We’re As Good As Dead’.
As before, use the appropriate measure of salt. On the other hand, it's certainly a perspective we're not getting anywhere else. Worthwhile for that alone.
Free press? What free press?
Although other bloggers are giving the story about
NBC firing Peter Arnett relatively little attention, this is something that should be examined just a little more closely.
Yeah, it's possible that Arnett is glory-hunting. It's also possible that he's trying to report the news to the best of his ability. Judging by his past performance, I think that the latter is more likely than the former. If this is true, then why did NBC fire him? Why did CNN not renew his contract in 1998? It sounds to me like there's more to this than is being said explicitly.
First off, so what if Arnett interviewed Iraqi TV? So what if he expressed his personal views. And what does "in time of war" have to do with reporting the news? Does this mean that we should carefully avoid saying anything controversial while a war is going on? Apparently so.
I think that NBC fired Arnett because he reported stuff that they didn't want him to report. Whether this was based on pressure from the Administration or pressure from the parent corporation is irrelevant. Either way, it's censorship, it's suppression of news reporting that disagrees with what those in charge want said.
It's not the first time that this has happened in the last two years. I'm sure it won't be the last.
Whatever happened to those news organizations that supported their reporters, no matter what? Gone the way of most of our civil rights, I suspect.
Another one.
Remember Jose Padilla? Well, Mike Hawash stands to be another United States Citizen held without trial or recourse: TalkLeft: Free Mike Hawash
Write your Senators and your Representative!
Ah.
This article tells it a little more clearly: National Geographic Fires Peter Arnett.
Apparently, Arnett allowed himself to be interviewed by Iraqi TV.
Now how does this result in his being fired? Maybe because of the bad publicity?
It still stinks to me.
More about Mike Hawash.
Here's the website run by his former boss: Free Mike Hawash.
If you live in California, your senators are Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein. Write them. Tell them that the Justice Department must:
- Charge Mr. Hawash with a crime,
- Have Mr. Hawash testify in court as a material witness as quickly as possible, or
- Release Mr. Hawash.
Again, this kind of thing is why I support impeachment of the President, Vice President, Secretary of Defense and Attorney General.
Arnett hired.
At least the folks at the Daily Mirror know a good reporter when they interview one.
I'm beginning to wonder if the media in the United States even know what good reporting is.
From the "big fucking surprise" department.
washingtonpost.com: U.S. Prepared to Pay 'Very High Price'
Uh huh.
I wonder just how high a price the Iraqi people are prepared to pay.
Bombing civilians.
Why don't I see this on the regular media: Iraq Diaries: Expelled Peaceteam members in car accident near border with Jordan.
Yes, they were in a car accident. If you read the article, you'll see that they were picked up by an Iraqi and taken to the nearest town, and entirely civilian town with no military structures of any kind, which had been bombed three days before. They were treated by an Iraqi doctor, who was embarrassed at his lack of anaesthetic. These people refused all payment for their help.
"Axis of evil," eh? If there's an "axis of evil" anywhere, I think it's probably in Washington, these days.
What he said.
Daily Kos: State Department raps "freedom loving" allies
I can't really put it any better than that.
A different perspective, part 3.
Here is the latest piece from Arab News' Essam Al-Ghalib: ArabNews: Exclusive: Can Anyone Firing at You Be Friendly?
Again, use whatever weight of salt you think may be required. It's the best, most personal perspective I've seen so far, though.