I protest.

Criminal.

TBOGG writes about a column in the LA Weekly, "Open City: Coffee, Tea or Handcuffs?" Once more, a journalist has been denied entry into the United States by some bureaucrat of the brand-new bureau of "Customs and Border Protection." The woman, an Australian who works for, as she put it, "a cross between Good Housekeeping and People magazine," was denied entry solely because she was a journalist and didn't happen to have an "I-Visa." She was coming into the country on her way to New York to interview Olivia Newton-John. The "I-Visa" is a new requirement, just for journalists. Any other Australian can enter the United States without a visa for ninety days, due to a visa-waiver program. In fact, Sue Smethurst had done so no fewer than eight times previously as was not aware of the new visa requirement.

Obviously, the term "freedom of the press" is just so many meaningless words in the United States, these days. Worse, the "I-Visa" rule is enforced at the discretion of the agent. If the particular agent she ran into hadn't simply been an ignorant asshole, a petty bureaucrat with delusions of godhood, she would have had no problem.

It gets even better, though. Not only was she denied entry into the United States, she was "politely" interrogated:

The CBP agent who read Smethurst's traveler's questionnaire took her to a secondary inspection area 30 feet away and told her to wait, then left for half an hour. He returned with additional uniformed staff who, professionally and pleasantly enough, asked more questions.

What sort of stories did she write? What kind of magazine was New Idea?

Where was it published? What was its circulation? Does it print politically sensitive articles? When would her interview appear? Who would be reading it?

…

The polite interrogation continued. Who was her father? His occupation? Her mother's maiden name and occupation? What were their dates of birth, where did they live?

Innocuous questions, I suppose, but when she asked one of the officers whether there was some problem, she received this response:

"I will tell you when there's a problem," he abruptly snapped, according to Smethurst. Then he pointed to a nearby sign:

Your Silence Is Appreciated

In other words, "shut the fuck up, you terrorist!"

She was forced to swear that her answers had been truthful, she was photographed and fingerprinted.

— every time she comes to America, her swiped passport will bring up this documentation of her rejection. As Smethurst's inked fingers were rolled onto the government form, she noticed its heading:

"Criminal."

She was handcuffed and paraded publically through LAX to the main detention center. She was allowed to make a telephone call, but her bags were thoroughly searched and part of it temporarily confiscated. Hungry, she was denied food; she was denied tea

because it could be used as a weapon &mdash someone, it was explained, had recently thrown hot coffee into an agent's face. When she requested a cup of cold tea, she was similarly refused, although no one could explain to her how a cup of cold water could become weaponized.

I can't possibly imagine how someone could be pushed to the point of throwing hot coffee into the face of one of these scum! And of course we have to keep that cold water away from those awful terrorists, too; they could drown somebody!

After Smethurst was given a "detention meal" (an orange, a fruit-box drink and a petrified roll),

one of the staff returned with a bag of takeout and began eating a hamburger and fries in front of her.

In frustration, she threw her rock-hard roll into the trash bin in front of her. This, the "Customs and Border Protection" bureau claims, was a "tantrum." Smethurst insists she was repeatedly body searched when she was moved from one location to another, and that

she broke down in tears several times, swearing to her captors that she was not a criminal, had done nothing wrong and should be allowed in the country.

Finally, the office of the Australian Consul General won her release. They also got her a cup of tea. Before, that is, she was

escorted by three armed guards onto the 11 p.m. Qantas flight home.

Three armed guards. For one female journalist. Nice.

Of course, the "Customs and Border Protection" bureau claims that she became abusive and that they tried to "calm her down." Apparently, too, handcuffing is "standard procedure,"

because sometimes good people can do potentially violent things. It's not our intent to parade passengers on a perp walk &mdash Sue Smethurst is not a criminal.

Uh, right. Or rather, wrong. According to that form that bears her fingerprints, Sue Smethurst is a "criminal." She's not alone, either. This is happening continuously, and not only to foreign nationals but to American citizens:

Last September, the CBP at LAX detained the Australian-born wife of a U.S. Navy sailor for five days, while also briefly denying her infant daughter food and medical attention.

Australian-born but an American citizen! Oh, and not a journalist. If by now you aren't angry, you're an idiot.

My wife is a Chinese national, a citizen of the People's Republic of China. She has permanent resident status as my wife; it's conditional at the moment but the condition is due to be removed by the middle of next year. The last time she and I travelled to China to visit her mother, when we returned she and I stood in separate lines, I in the one for citizens and she in the one for foreigners. Never again. The next time, we will be in the same line, so that if this kind of thing happens to her, I will at least be there.

The INS under the Department of Justice (ha!) was bad. The "CBP" under the "Homeland Security Department" is apparently at least an order of magnitude worse. And this kind of thing makes us all safer how, exactly?